


Juno Steel and the Loaf Gone Wrong

by NeitherEverNorNever



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Other, my part-time job as a bakery worker is coming in handy for this one, no beta we die like Hyperion mayors, we are here for the plot (the plot is juno piping custard)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeitherEverNorNever/pseuds/NeitherEverNorNever
Summary: Juno Steel, washed up private eye in a small east-coast town gets into a bakery job in order to help keep ends met. What he doesn’t expect is that this new career path might just be the start of a long series of criminal activities happening in Oldtown…and also a complicated relationship with a coworker.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	Juno Steel and the Loaf Gone Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juno starts his first day at Oldtown Bread, meeting his odd boss and a particularly interesting co-worker...
> 
> tw: alcoholism, fire

Hyperion City. Don’t let the tourist brochures fool you into thinking that Hyperion City is a beautiful slice of Americana away from the smoke of the cities. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and people like me plan on being the first dog in that turn of phrase. You do what you have to do to survive, and damn the consequences. The consequences are what the alcohol is for, anyway.

My name is Juno Steel. I tried to be a private eye once upon a time, but not enough happens in this town in the middle of upstate New York (read: bumfuck nowhere) to pay the bills, so I’ve been bouncing from job to job for the last few years to make ends meet. That meant it was not the first time this month that this was my first day on the job, but it was definitely about to be a memorable one.

You see, my mother had worked at this small bakery in town way back when she was a teen. She would constantly tell me and…she would tell stories about growing up on fresh-baked treats from “Oldtown Bread”, and I had just been kicked out of my bartending gig last week for showing up drunk to the job, so this felt like as good a job as any.

The beginning is all a blur, as the manager told me all about yeast, resting times, oven temperatures, and pastry until I could feel my brain melt. I couldn’t remember her name, but she was way too much into her job. She basically had a conniption when I asked where they kept the baking soda.

“We don’t do that here, Juno Steel.” That was another thing, she would use my full name every time she spoke to me. It was honestly kinda creepy and condescending. It definitely gave her a weird thrill to lord that over me. “This bakery is yeast only, Juno Steel. Baking soda bread is for cheaters, and I will not be accused of cheating on my bread.” Sheesh, okay. I laughed it off, but not because it was a funny joke.

It wasn’t long before I was helping her put some loaves into the oven. The best part was the constant background commentary: “Juno Steel, make sure you punch down the loaf a little before it goes in. Juno Steel, don’t forget the lid on that baking tin. Juno Steel…”

That’s when the first of the sales staff arrived to help sell the bread. He was, in short, impeccably overdressed. He was wearing what looked to be a brand-new set of very tight khakis and a black shirt that dipped a little too far down. He also wore a pair of black-tinted sunglasses which matched the dark colour of his hair. As he took off the glasses, he glanced over and saw me, flashing me a set of sharp pearly whites so bright I had to check to make sure I hadn’t been sunburned.

My new boss mumbled something about “new hires” and went over to the front to talk to him while I was stuck filling a few danishes with berries and custard. It was rather relaxing, actually.

As my new boss talked to the other new guy, I saw him give me another couple of glances. I tried not to think too hard about the fact I was piping custard in a hole in pastry dough while he was looking at me. I doubted anyone could read my mind, but if they could…hoo boy.

As Boss Lady finished talking with New Guy, I finished adding some frozen berries and popped them into the oven. The smell of pastry hitting the heat was invigorating, and I stood there for a moment, drinking it in. It was better-smelling than the inside of a bar, anyway. Here, the worst thing you’d have to smell is fermenting yeast.

I was broken out of my reverie by a “Hello.” to my left. I turned to see that New Guy was leaning on my bench, his elbows resting right next to the hot pans.

“How do you do?” he cooed. He was leaned so far over the bench that I could theoretically, if I wanted to, see down the v-neck of his black shirt. Not that I did, of course.

“First day too?” I replied, immediately slipping into my old bartending routine. “I’ve had better. You?”

“I feel invigorated, as though animated by some force.” He spoke like a radio announcer, all soft consonants and careful vowels. Even though he was taller than me, he was leaned far enough over that he had to look up at me. “I’m Rex Glass, and you?”

“Juno. Juno Steel.”

“ ‘Steel and Glass’ sounds like the name of a wonderful alternative band.” Rex chuckled at his own joke. “Don’t know why I thought of that, frankly, but it sounds rather fun, doesn’t it?”

I chuckled a little too, but it was more of a giggle of nervousness than a genuine chortle. I’d been around the block a few times, so I knew when someone was trying to hit on me.

Rex apparently took this as a good sign and shifted around so we were facing the same direction. “So what would you say is your favourite of the loaves you’ve made today, Juno?”

I gave a quick glance around the metal racks filled with slowly-cooling loaves. My eye fell on one, and I pointed at it. It was just a simple whole wheat on the surface, but it was my first one. I could even see where a bubble was about to break through the crust, showing it wasn’t perfectly mixed. I don’t know why that one was the one. Maybe it was because it felt monumental on some level, something I could point to and say “I made that.” Not that I was one for sentimental shit like that.

“That one.” I answered.

“Ah, a whole wheat, I take it?” Rex carefully picked it up in his oddly-delicate hands, and turned it over and examined it like it were a clue at a crime scene. “Why this one?”

I shrugged in reply. “I did a good job on it.”

Rex grabbed a small paper bag and wrapped it in a beautifully-graceful motion. “Then why don’t you take it home?”

I probably blushed at that. What was I going to do, frame a slice? Have a little gilded title on it, something like “Juno’s First Loaf”? I stuttered out a thank you as Rex handed the loaf to me.

I leaned back on the bench a little. “So, what brings a smooth talker like you to a bakery like this?” I figured a pointed reminder that this was a bakery and not a brothel was worth mentioning to Romeo over here.

Rex bounced off his elbows to stand back up a bit and laughed a long drawn out guffaw. “I see you’ve seen right through my clever disguise. Forgive me for wanting to befriend someone that I’ll be closely working with.”

Shit, was he just flirting casually with me? I wasn’t always good at telling the difference, and the number of people who hit on the bartender to try and get free drinks made me a little sceptical of anyone talking to me like that. Also, being built like the big black lady I am, most people think hitting on me was just how you talked to me. Those people quickly learned what the business end of my fist looked like.

He just wanted to be friends, then. Fair enough.

“Sorry, I used to work a lot of jobs where people would hit on me for fun. The whole act gets old when you’re the nineteenth person to do it that day.”

“Oh, has someone else been hitting on you then?” Rex took a furtive look behind me, as if checking out the other staff. “Because while we have only just met and started our respective careers here, I would rather we’d both enjoy the place.”

Damn, he was smooth. “No, but if Tough Guy decides to try and get in my pants, you’ll be the first to know.” I was referring to the large, buff, and balding Desi man in the back who was currently deep in conversation with the Boss. From what I’d gathered, he’d either been in the police or the military, because he seemed to try and command authority wherever he went like a drill sergeant.

Rex chuckled at that. “I get the sense that man is married already. Married to his work, I mean.”

I shrugged. “I’ve seen enough men like that drunk to know that isn’t always true.”

Rex nodded sagely. “Best not to underestimate heterosexuals.” I won’t pretend that I gathered what he meant by saying “heterosexuals.”

What I should have been paying attention to was the thin stream of smoke that had begun to snake out of the oven behind us. Apparently my wonderful new boss was supposed to have told me that the other oven’s loaves of bread were done and ready to be pulled out. Instead, I only noticed when Rex sniffed the air and gave me a worried look.

“Is something burning, Juno?”

I spun back around to the oven just in time to hear a loud “JUNO STEEL!” I opened the oven to get a billow of smoke directly in the face, causing my eyes to water. I brushed Rex aside to grab the oven mitts and pull the loaves free. In total, nine loaves came out of the oven so dark that they could have been making a true crime podcast.

The Boss stormed back over as Rex carefully moved to the front counter. “What is the meaning of this?!” she exclaimed, looking over the loaves. “This is hardly the quality product that our customers were promised, Juno Steel. These sourdoughs weren’t made from starter, meaning over 15 hours of hard work has now been wasted because of ten minutes of lazy chatting.” She then looked over to a cowering Rex and half-yelled, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten your part in this, Rex Glass.”

So much for a great first day.


End file.
